Stop
by mesk24
Summary: Set during 2x01. Nikita needs Alex to stop fighting her, she needs Alex to tell her how to make things right again.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing.**

**AN: Spoilers from 2x01.**

**AN2: I felt like I really needed to write some Alex/Nikita fic and after this scene, I just had to do it. I hope you enjoy it.**

**Please, read and review.**

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**STOP**

The mission was going without a hitch; Alex had the target with her and they were on their way back to Division, but of course Nikita had to show up and ruin everything.

When Alex saw her standing there in that alley holding up a gun she didn't know if Nikita was aiming to stop her or to kill her. Her question was answered when Nikita fired three shots at the car making Alex lose control of it, crashing straight into a dumpster.

Nikita opened the door and let the target run away. Alex felt anger consuming her and when she spoke up she barely recognized her own voice.

"NIKITA!" She turned her attention to Alex, her gun leveled up to shoot her protégé right in the bull's eye if need be. "Drop your gun!" Alex commanded with no hope Nikita would oblige.

Alex saw her eyes darting to the floor and to her complete surprise Nikita threw her gun on the ground. _Why would she do that? I could kill her in a blink of an eye, _Alex thought.

"What are you gonna do, shoot me?"

Nikita's voice sounded tired and defeated, like she didn't want to do this again but Alex couldn't see straight, her anger towards her mentor and towards everyone who has ever hurt and lied to her was too overwhelming to control.

"I've done it before." Alex forced her voice to sound cold. She wanted the threat to sound real, she needed Nikita to believe she could shoot her again because she wasn't so sure herself.

"To save my life, right?" She hadn't bought the excuse Alex had given her. She knew it had been a way to revenge what she had done to Alex's father. "What is it going to be for this time? Or do you even know? Or does Amanda have you so turned around you don't even know what to believe in anymore?"

"I know what I believe and I know what I want and I'm using Division to get it!" As she spoke the words Alex could hear how fake it all sounded, she was aware she wasn't just trying to convince Nikita, she was trying to convince herself.

"_They_ are using _you_." Nikita took two steps forward and Alex saw it,she knew she should've retreated, she knew what those steps meant, but she kept still listening to the same old song…the same old accurate song."It's what they do, you can't trust them-"

"I don't trust _anybody_!"_Who was she to talk about trust?_ Alex thought.

In one quick motion Nikita disarmed Alex who in turn tried to punch her. Nikita was faster and evaded every hit with ease, grabbing Alex's arms, trapping her.

Nikita shoved Alex back shouting, "Stop!" It pained Nikita to have to be so rough with the person she cherished the most, but it was clear Alex wanted to fight her, it was clear she needed to let it all out.

Alex lurched forward again, this time she got the upper hand landing a well-placed punch on Nikita's face, making her spin around.

Nikita stopped and flipped her hair looking at Alex like she was warning her to _not _try that again, but all Alex saw was a challenge and she _never_ backs down from a challenge.

Alex should've known better.

As she tried to place a kick on Nikita's side her mentor grabbed her leg and threw her on the hood of the car making her cry out in pain.

"I said _stop!_" _Why won't she stay down? Doesn't she understand I don't want to hurt her?_ Nikita thought.

Alex tried hitting her one more time, but Nikita blocked the punch and pinned Alex back on the car holding her down by her neck.

"Stop it, Alex!" She was plain desperate now fearing she had really lost Alex forever. Her voice was soft and pleading, but Alex kept trashing under her hold. "No! Stay down!" Nikita kept begging.

Alex felt her eyes begin to burn, hot tears starting to run down her face and once it started all the feelings that were bottled up inside her came crashing out. "Why didn't you kill me when you were ordered to? Why didn't you kill me? I'm tired! I don't want to do this anymore!" She screamed at Nikita shutting her eyes tightly, tears falling freely.

"Alex…" Nikita's voice was sweet and the hold she had on Alex's neck softened. It felt like a déjà vu to her listening Alex saying those things. It was like the very beginning when she found Alex overdosed fallen on the floor of her loft.

"I shouldn't be alive, Nikita! My life has no purpose! I don't want to be surrounded by death anymore!"

"No, no, no. Alex, look at me." Nikita carefully caressed her cheek, and for Alex feeling someone's touch had never felt so comforting before. "Honey, look at me."

She slowly opened her eyes and focused on the woman leaning on top of her. She felt a thumb moving to wipe a stray tear and she instinctively leaned into Nikita's touch.

"If you were dead, I'd probably be dead too." Nikita said with such honesty, Alex couldn't dare to doubt it. "If I hadn't saved you that horrible night, maybe I'd have never had the courage to go rogue. If it wasn't for you…" She let her gaze fall to the ground and sighed heavily. "If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't remember what's like to love someone. After Daniel died I fed on my pain and on my anger. It's amazing how fast you forget what's like to feel something good."

"I'm no good…" Alex said feeling all her strength leaving her body.

Nikita grabbed the collar of her vest and slowly pulled her up, making Alex sit up.

"Yes, you are! And I love every single thing about you. You're strong, determined, and you have a good heart." She was searching Alex's eyes for something. They stayed like that, staring at each other for a couple of seconds until Nikita spoke again. "Just let me in again, Alex. Let me be by your side and try to make you smile again."

Alex was tired, she really didn't want to fight anymore. She figured Nikita couldn't possibly have any other secret that would hurt her again, and as much as she hated to admit it, she did miss her so she nodded and let Nikita pull her into a hug.

Alex missed her so much.

"Let's get you out of here, okay?" Nikita whispered in Alex's ear making her shiver.

They got in Nikita's car and drove off. Nikita was stealing side glances at Alex but she kept quiet so the younger girl decided to break the silence.

"Where are we going?"

"To a safe house."

"I don't think Michael will be happy to see me." Alex said letting her gaze fall to her lap.

"Hey," Nikita said taking Alex's left hand into her right. "You'll always come first. Always." She looked at Alex to make sure she understood. Alex nodded and she continued, "I'd take you to our house, but I don't want to stress you out even more. Tonight it'll just be you and me."

"Sounds… Good." Alex said feeling her heart start racing again.

The rest of the ride went by pretty fast and soon Alex found herself in an astonishing penthouse.

"How did you-"

"Birkhoff." Nikita answered before Alex could even finish her question. "We're working together now, he lent me this place in case something went wrong with the mission and I needed a place to spend the night."

"Oh…" That was all Alex could say. She wasn't really interested in how Nikita had gotten that place, but her mind was on overdrive and she didn't know what else to say.

"Do you want anything to drink? Tea, coffee, soda?" It seemed Nikita wasn't sure how to precede either.

"Wine, maybe?" Alex asked walking to the giant window to admire the view. She heard Nikita chuckling so she turned around.

"As if. I'll get you some milk if you want."

Alex couldn't believe that after everything they'd been through Nikita still felt the need to take care of her in that way."First of all, I don't think Birkhoff consumes anything healthy; second of all, I think if I'm old enough to handle a gun, I'm old enough to drink."

Nikita leaned on the kitchen island, crossed her arms and sighed. "I didn't want that for you… When I disobeyed my orders I figured they would take good care of you and you'd live a normal happy life. Believe me Alex, the last thing I wanted was to put a gun on your hand."

"Tea would be nice." Alex said not wanting to drag this conversation any longer.

"Why don't you go make yourself comfortable in the bedroom while I prepare your tea?"

Alex nodded finding her way to the main suite. She took off her vest and her shoes lying down on the king-sized bed. She didn't realize how tired and sored she was until her back hit the mattress. She let out a content sigh allowing her body to relax.

"Glad to see you're relaxing."

"Don't always believe what you see, I'm a great actress." Alex said not wanting to let Nikita know she had already let all her guards down.

"Okay…" Nikita frowned for a second. "Here's your tea, I hope it's the way you like it."

Alex sat down and drank her beverage while she watched Nikita take off her belt and her boots. Nikita touched her cheek scrunching up her nose a little.

"Did I hit you too hard?" Alex teased smirking at her.

Nikita smirked back and said, "Sorry to disappoint you, Alex, but I've had way worse."

"Too bad, huh?" Alex fired back smiling sarcastically. Yeah, sometimes she could act like the spoiled brat she would surely have become if she had lived the life planed by her Papa.

"What do you want from me, Alex?" Nikita asked walking over to her. Alex put the tea cup in the nightstand to free my hands. "Do you want to punch me? Shoot me? Do you want me to tell you _again_ how sorry I am? I would never have done anything if I thought I could! Amanda had her claws so deep inside my brain I was still torn about what I had to do! So I did the only thing I thought would go unnoticed by Percy and her." Pain and remorse were clear on Nikita's face, even a blind man could see it.

After all this time inside Division Alex knew way too well how Amanda and Percy could distort facts and change the meaning of words well enough to make you believe the sky is red. If it wasn't for Nikita's training and her drive to avenge her family, Alex would probably do whatever they wanted her to.

She got up making Nikita take a step back. Looking into beautiful brown eyes for a moment, Alex pulled her into a tight hug. "I can't say I forgive you, but I understand what sort of pressure you were under…" She whispered in her ear, "I don't know if I'd have been brave enough to defy their orders like you did."

"You would've." Nikita said without missing a beat. "You're the strongest person I know, Alex."

Alex smiled at that. Having the strongest person you know say _you_ are the strongest one is certainly flattering. "Thank you. Thank you for all the times you've saved me."

"I'll do it as many time as needed, but I won't let anything bad happen to you ever again, I promise." Nikita sounded so determined Alex's heart fluttered.

She pulled back to look into Nikita's eyes again and said, "Don't make promises you can't keep, sensei." Nikita closed her eyes and sighed knowing she couldn't protect Alex 24/7. "But I appreciate the thought." She said kissing the reddish spot on Nikita's cheek where she had hit her earlier.

"Then promise me you won't shut me out again, promise me you won't stay away for so long again. It hurt too much not knowing where you were and how you were doing, I can't take it again."

Her gaze had Alex paralyzed and her hands on the younger girl's waist were sending shivers down her spine. "I promise." Alex managed to breathe out before kissing the corner of Nikita's mouth in an irrational act.

"Alex…" Nikita whispered a hair-width away from her mouth.

"I don't understand either," Alex whispered back letting Nikita know that everything was confusing in that moment, "But I need you to save me one more time."

Nikita's heart skipped a beat or two. The weight of Alex's words didn't make her feel like she was pressured into some awkward situation, it actually felt the complete opposite. To Nikita, Alex was giving her the opportunity to save her in the most beautiful and powerful way.

Nikita closed the gap between their mouths. At first their lips were just pressed together as if Nikita was testing the waters, but she slowly began to move exploring Alex lips with her own.

Alex moaned lowly when she felt Nikita's tongue licking her upper lip as if asking permission to let her in. Time seemed to have stopped and she wondered if Michael felt the same way every time he got together with Nikita.

Michael.

Alex liked and even admired Michael, but right in that moment he was only a reminder that Nikita wasn't hers.

Jealousy took over.

Alex grabbed Nikita's waist and pulled her closer, crashing their bodies together. She couldn't let it go, she had to ask, "What about Michael?"

Nikita looked into electric blue eyes and answered, "You will _always_ come first." It left no room for doubts and Alex smiled feeling the jealousy slipping out of her mind.

It is true Nikita loves Michael, but she was certain she would give him up if having him meant she couldn't have Alex by her side.

Nikita stepped forward moving them both until Alex hit her leg on the bed. Gently, the older woman laid Alex on the mattress never breaking eye contact with her. She lay on top of Alex moving her hair to the side so she could properly look at the amazing person under her.

Alex's eyes traveled along Nikita's face as to memorize every line of it. "God, you're beautiful!" She said in awe.

Nikita smiled shyly, "And you're mesmerizing." She nuzzled Alex's nose making her giggle and bringing an adoring smile to Nikita's lips.

Alex cupped Nikita's face. Looking deeply into her eyes, she said, "I could never live without you."

"I couldn't live without you either, baby girl." Nikita said kissing Alex again. This kiss wasn't chaste like the first one; it was intense and heated exactly like the relationship between them.

Nikita arched into Alex when she felt delicate hands moving underneath her tank top, scratching her back lightly. In response, Nikita peppered kisses on Alex's jaw and down her neck where she stopped and sucked until she found that one spot that made her protégé moan, "Oh God, your lips."

Enjoying the reaction she got, Nikita bit down on the same spot, "Mm! Teeth are…good…too." Alex moaned threading her fingers through chestnut hair.

Nikita slid down on Alex's body lifting her pink blouse to pay as much attention to her stomach as she had to her neck.

"Take it off." Alex begged already sitting up to let Nikita take her blouse off.

No art work compared to Alex's body in Nikita's opinion. After reminding herself not to drool, the older woman kissed Alex again as she worked to unclasp her bra.

"I should take a picture," Nikita said with complete adoration shining through her eyes.

"Then take it." Alex replied not even remembering what the word shyness meant.

"No," Nikita said gently pushing Alex back on the bed and kissing her collarbone, "I'm too selfish. I don't want to risk anyone else finding it and getting the opportunity to see you like this. I want this blessing to be only mine."

Alex felt a mixture of adoration and arousal. She was loving the way Nikita was being so possessive of her; she liked feeling so wanted; she liked knowing Nikita believed she is hers, because to be honest, she is.

Nikita's soft lips trailed kisses down Alex's collarbone, through the valley of her breasts to her nipples.

"Mmm!" Alex moaned when she felt Nikita's warm tongue swirling around a hardening nipple. She grabbed a handful of hair urging Nikita to continue what she was doing.

Nikita used her hand to pay the other breast as much attention as her mouth was doing to the first.

"God," She groaned looking at Alex, "You're like an addictive candy." Alex's small smile and lip bite was answer enough. Nikita went back to worshiping Alex's body, trailing her tongue down taunt abs to her navel where she stopped to dip her tongue in it.

"Uh..." Alex purred thrusting her hips up.

"Do you want more, baby girl?" Nikita teased unbuttoning Alex's pants. The smile on Nikita's face made Alex throb with need.

"Yes, please!" The blue-eyed girl breathed out desperately.

Nikita pulled down Alex's pants and panties in one swift move. She did her best not to stare at Alex's marvelous body, but her best wasn't enough and Nikita only realized she was staring when Alex blushed and closed her legs a little.

"No, don't." Nikita said putting her hands on Alex's thighs gently pushing them apart. "You're so beautiful I just can't help myself."

Alex smiled warmly at her. "I want to see you too." Nikita didn't need to be told twice. Complying with her protégé's wishes, Nikita quickly shed all her clothes and went back on being on top of Alex. Both of them moaning at the first skin on skin contact.

"Make love to me." Alex whispered.

Nikita melted.

She knows Alex had a hard time letting people get physically and emotionally close to her because the time she had been forced to be a sex slave not only left her with a drug addiction, the things she was forced to do left emotional scars so deep that Nikita was afraid to even ask. She is sure Alex hadn't given herself completely to anyone, not even Nathan, so to be asked by her to make love was something absolutely special.

Nikita buried her face on Alex's neck. "I can believe this is real, I can't believe you are here." She whispered nuzzling the warm skin of Alex's neck.

The younger brunette flipped them over locking gaze with Nikita. "This is real. We are real." She lowered her head and captured Nikita's lips one more time kissing her thoroughly.

Nikita flipped them again. Alex looked at her with questioning eyes so Nikita said, "Tonight is about you."

Alex wanted to protest but Nikita shook her head, "I want to make love to you; I wanna show you how much you mean to me. Please, let me show you."

Alex was almost drowning in Nikita's loving eyes. She nodded and said a barely audible "okay."  
Nikita slid down Alex's body spreading her legs in the process. She peppered open mouth kisses on her thighs, occasionally nibbling the flesh she found. Nikita's hand made their way to Alex's breasts, massaging them and teasing her nipples.

It wasn't long before Alex was a writhing mess. "Please," She said between pants, "Please, don't tease me anymore." How could Nikita say no? She moved up Alex's thighs until she was facing her glistening sex. Nikita literally felt her mouth watering. She flattened her tongue and slowly licked from her slit to her clit.

"Oh, shit!"

Nikita grabbed Alex's thighs tighter holding her legs apart. She swirled her tongue around Alex's clit then sucked on it, making the young girl grab her hair in ecstasy.

After a few minutes receiving such close attention from Nikita's tongue, Alex breathed out, "Stop."

She immediately stopped looking up at Alex with worry, but she instantly relaxed when she saw the look of pleasure on Alex's face.

"I want to be able to look into your eyes."

Nikita gladly made her way up placing her right leg between Alex's thighs. She brushed a strand of hair away from Alex's face, "Anyway you want it, baby girl." Nikita said slowly starting to rock her hips.

"I love when say that." Alex said nuzzling her sensei's neck.

"When I say what?" Asked Nikita getting lost in the sensation of Alex's juices coating her thigh.

"Baby girl. It makes me feel like I belong."

Nikita gazed deeply into Alex's eyes trying to convey in every possible way what she was about to say. "You," She slid one hand between their bodies, "Belong," Nikita dipped two fingers inside Alex, "With me." She started to pull her fingers out and push back in a tortuous slow pace. Alex bit her lip and threw her head back. "I'll take care of you for as long as you'll let me."

"Forever." Alex whispered pulling Nikita into a sloppy passionate kiss. She trailed her hand down entering Nikita without warning.

Nikita rested her forehead on Alex's shoulder, biting it lightly in reaction to her protégé's fingers buried deep inside of her. "You like to disobey me." She moaned instinctively moving her hips to meet Alex's hand. "I told you, tonight it's all about you."

"This-" Alex stopped talking, gasping when she felt Nikita thrusting into her a little harder. "This is about us." She managed to speak speeding her own hand.

"Alex…" Nikita purred arching her back feeling the young girl hitting all the perfect places.

Blue eyes were trained on Nikita, watching every change in her expression, in her breathing, in her posture. Alex wanted to remember this moment forever, she wanted to be able to recall how Nikita furrowed her brows slightly, how she would flip her hair trying to make it stay on one side, how the muscles in her arm tensed and relax as they pleasured her.

Alex was forced to close her eyes as Nikita kept hitting her g-spot over and over again. "So close…" She moaned informing Nikita she wouldn't be able to hold on for much longer.

"Me too." Nikita said leaning down and kissing Alex one more time. "Look at me, baby girl."

When Alex finally gathered enough will power she opened her eyes and was greeted by Nikita smiling at her. The older woman was staring at her with such passion Alex felt a shiver running down her body, pushing her even closer to her edge.

Both of their movements had become erratic, and Nikita felt Alex's walls begin to quiver around her fingers. "Alex," She whispered biting the girl's lower lip getting her attention again, "I love you." Alex didn't even have time to reply, her orgasm washing over her.

Watching Alex climax pushed Nikita over the edge too. Both women stayed still, feeling each other's chests heaving trying to even their breaths.

Alex cupped Nikita's face. "I love you too. Thank you for this."

Nikita blushed a little chuckling, "You don't need to thank me."

Realizing what she said had sounded like, Alex explained, "I didn't mean thank you for the sex. I meant, thank you for making me feel good again, for taking care of me the best way you can, for loving me."

Nikita kissed her tenderly, "You don't need to thank me because everything I do for you, you do for me too." She lay down and Alex immediately snuggled up into her.

With Nikita's warmth cradling her, Alex let sleep creep up on her. "Goodnight, sensei."

"Goodnight, baby girl." Nikita said kissing chestnut hair, smiling contently for the first time in a long time.


End file.
